Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Thievery and Absentmindness

I'm beginning to think I'm married to a petty thief.

First Scott comes homes confused and bewildered from the grocery store and says,
"I think I just stole a pack of gum." Lo and behold, there was a pack in his pocket, but not on the receipt. What we think happened is he got the gum at the checkout line at the same time he was getting his wallet out of his pocket.


To be fair though, every since Lucy came around we are a little more absentminded then usual.

Such as the time we were at the store and left in her in the the car. Luckily we had only gotten about 6 feet from the car when Scott asked where the baby was.

Back to the stealing part though. Scott promised to pay the gum back next time he went to the store. But it doesn't stop there. The next morning I found a hymn book in my car. And so, to honor my thieving husband I thought I'd share a little story from my past.

For those of you who know me well, you know I'm a rule follower. This applied when I was in High School as well. I was never one to sneak out, cheat on a test, steal a pack of gum,
etc, etc.

Anyway, back in the day I worked at the Sear's Jewelery Counter. It was pretty good money for a 16 year-old and I spent my days selling gaudy cocktail rings to sweet little old ladies.
Side note, this is why I know every month's birthstone.
Anyway, at the end of the night we would count the diamonds in their cases, log it, and put the diamonds (which were on trays) in the safe. I was always so worried about that safe too. I would have nightmares I didn't spin the lock, much like I'm always worried now if I turned my straightner off. One night I had made my count, logged it, opened the safe and bent down to put the diamonds in and I thought I felt something drop. I looked and looked and there was nothing on the ground or on the bottom of the safe. Figuring it was due to my obsessive compulsiveness regarding lock spinnage, I gathered my things, went through security (which we did every night) and drove home. Later, when I was changing into my pajamas and taking off my dress, my dress with front pockets, I found it. A diamond tennis bracelet just sitting there in my clothes, waiting to be discovered by security. I seriously doubt anyone would have believed that I "accidentally" slipped the bracelet into my pocket.

Luckily I worked the next morning and although I spent a stressful night imagining getting busted (there are security cameras zoned in on the safe), I managed to slip the diamond back into the safe the next morning undetected. I can't quite remember how I transported the diamond back to the store, maybe in my purse? Oh, the danger.

And there you go. My one and only brush with trouble. Unless you count the time I got put on "Orem's Most Suspicious Person's List."

A tale for another time.


Whitney said...

haha..that's so funny. I don't think I ever knew that story.

Taryn said...

I don't ever remember that story either. Funny:)

Good Buy Consignment said...

Well if you're going to take a chance on getting caught with stolen merch why not make it a diamond tennis bracelet. Go big or go home right?

JT and Lizzie Davis said...

Great stories! The one about the bracelet makes me nervous just thinking about it!

caitlin said...

Too funny. Try working at a bank and making sure your till balances or no one can go home and they give you that look of disdain :)

Rob and Kelli said...

I love it! Those are hilarious stories! I have to admit I remember stealing candy/gum from the grocery store a few times when I was little...that might have been intentional. At least you didn't know. :)

Aria said...

Wow, that story got me freaked out! I am totally not a rebel...never was. I would've started bawling and not known what to do!

I want to hear what happens when Scott tries to offer the store a refund for his "stolen" pack of gum. :)